Looking for less conflict? Stronger communication? Seeking strength to move away from unhealthy forces in your life? Single men, single ladies, unmarried couples, and those of you going through a divorce, when you seek relationship help, I have two words that will assist you in solving your problems. It is Emotional Intelligence. This is the ability to recognize and manage your emotions well in yourself and in others, so you may arrive at an appropriate and effective outcome. Here I will discuss 4 ways in which EI (Emotional Intelligence) or EQ (Emotional Quotient) will save you and your relationships. Would you rather listen to the article? Click the video below. Okay cool, here we go. EI/EQ will help you…
Recently I took my girls’ horseback riding. Even though we were trained to steer the horses with the reins, I could not help but notice that they already knew what they were doing. The horses have been on the same trail so often that it was second nature to know when they would make a right or a left. It is like that when you have been practicing recognizing and managing your emotions. When you feel that your feelings are taking an unruly turn, you will automatically “notice” that affect, pause, and take that moment to “feel.” Then give yourself the chance and space to arrive at the best course of action to move forward. You will know when to use a “rein” on your emotion, such as anger; therefore, this helps you communicate effectively.
You crave to be seen, heard, and understood. It is frustrating to be in a conversation where both of you are talking or yelling at the same time over a conflict you have been having for the last several years. When you are intelligent in your emotions, this helps give you patience, care, and concern for another person. And indeed yourself. I will discuss empathy later in the article. However, to improve communication with others through emotional intelligence, you will learn how not to allow your emotions to get the best of you. You know how to respond instead of reacting. Emotional intelligence will help you…
To understand yourself is vital. If you do not understand yourself, how can you practice self-control? This point helps tremendously with communication. I have set this point apart because this step must be done prior to communicating well and learning how to manage your emotions appropriately and effectively. It is human nature for you to seek to learn about others and learn what is going on outside of you. What is not taught in school or at work is that you must know yourself. Self-Awareness is key. Do take the time to self-reflect (make it a habit) and learn what you want, how you think, and how you usually behave. Figure out what excites you and what does not, how you handle challenges, what you want your dream relationship to look like etc.
For instance, instead of devoting all your attention on getting to know someone new, it is crucial to pay attention to yourself in the process. Are you falling too fast? Are you ignoring red flags? Are you being open to this relationship for the wrong reasons? Are you looking ahead at the future of what life would be like with this new person? Knowing yourself is the distinction between “what have I done,” and “I am here because I chose to be.” You take full responsibility for your choices because you were intentional. You know yourself that well. This helps you make the best choices for yourself and your relationships. No one looks forward to needing relationship counseling. Understanding yourself first can help avoid that scenario. If not, online counseling with Your Emotions Matter is here for you. Seek assistance with learning how to manage your emotions. Emotional intelligence will also help you…
Like yourself, your partner, parent, and child crave to be seen, heard, and understood. Their nature is the same as yours, and sometimes you may not acknowledge this fact because you may be caught up with how you feel. Emotional intelligence has different parts to it, and one of them is the ability to have empathy. Oxford dictionaries define empathy as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Yes, we must practice recognizing our own feelings, and compassion is a skill you must possess to be able to understand your significant other, a parent, and even your child. What I love about emotional intelligence and by being a co-creator, I sometimes put other people’s feelings before my own. It is not because I do not practice self-love or self-care. I do this because I have the emotional strength to do so. And you do as well.
How well does it feel to know someone cares for you? Care enough about how your loved one feels and lay your feelings aside for the moment to take the time to understand them. By being self-aware, you will know when you are being selfish or when you really do not need to be put first. When you can do this, and when you can take the time to listen and really seek to understand another, this will help eliminate and resolve conflict. This will help the other person be seen, heard, and understood, and when that happens, you will get your chance to be seen, heard, and understood. Of course, both of you must be empathetic. Show that you can give emotional support to others and be with those that can do the same. Lastly, emotional intelligence will help you to…
Let go when you know you need to let go
When I stated, “Save your Relationships,” I bet you did not expect to see this one. Suppose you are new to what Your Emotions Matter is all about. In that case, we also advocate that the best relationship in your life is your relationship with yourself. Therefore, to save the relationship you have with yourself, you will have to let go of the other unhealthy relationships. I do not discriminate when it comes to relationships. It does not matter if it is your parents, grandparents, siblings, spouse, child, or your dog Buster. (Okay, I threw in the dog, Lol.) If someone has not yet come to terms with respecting you, treat you fairly, consider your feelings, find a way to get along well with you, etc., they must go. Period.
Please be mindful, it is the long-term intimate relationships in which you have a hard time letting go. You have been together for a long time, have kids together, share household expenses, and you are…beware…emotionally invested! You will rationalize from dusk till dawn why you should stay, wonder, and worry about what life would be like without this person. Especially when it has been proven time and time again that things are not going to change. The good news is when you learn how to manage your emotions when you understand that you get to choose how you feel…you get to turn that emotion…OFF. How you feel does not always have to be real. Change how you think and put Yourself. First. Now that is power. Now, this is the best relationship advice!
Your Emotions Matter is here to support and empower you on your journey to your best relationships. We would love to hear from you. May you let us know what you think in the comments? Would you like to discuss with us if Your Emotions Matter is a good fit for you? Feel free to contact us by clicking here to have a complimentary one-on-one, 30-minute session with Tiffany. We encourage you to Reach Out, Speak Up, & Create Change. Why? Because…You Matter.
Hello single gentlemen, I am Tiffany J. Norwood, CNLP, CEQP. I encourage the phrase "healthy relationships" to become a part of your heart and mind. I am the founder and CEO of Your Emotions Matter, a certified Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence practitioner, a certified NLP practitioner, a transformational speaker, and an author. (NLP is the study and understanding of how human beings communicate and perceive communication from others). I am the mother of three beautiful young women, and my passion is helping you create power through understanding your emotions. I am from southern California, and in my spare time, I enjoy the shooting range, travel, and any adventurous activity.
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