Single ladies and gents, are you noticing that specific questions are repeating themselves in your effort to arrive into a healthy relationship? Those confusing signals, okay, the red flags that pop up early, are dismissed because he or she is attractive and smart. How about when things start off good, then after a while, things start to get frustrating?
We all have great intentions to live happily in our relationships. Sometimes you may find yourself in situations that are not pleasing. It is my hope that I can give you some clarity as to what you can do now to move toward a new emotional space in your life. Here are five tips for your best relationship, and here is the secret, your best relationship is first with You.
Focus on yourself.
First, take time to get to know you, by paying attention to your habits, how you think, how you react, and how you feel. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Do you know what you want? How would you usually behave in certain situations? How would you like to be treated? What is it that you will not tolerate? We as human beings tend to operate being swayed to and fro by the external, that is, whatever is outside of us. This is your time to go within and get to know you.
You cannot control what goes on outside of you, you can only control what goes on within yourself. This is important to help you learn self-control, to start to gain clarity and peace within. Most importantly, how to manage your emotions. Unruly emotions will wreak havoc in a relationship. Taking time to focus on getting to know you will help you learn how to love yourself more because you are finding what makes you tick or not. It will help pave the way to how you want your next relationship to be built.
Learn how to be alone.
Are you looking for the secret sauce? This is it. If you find it challenging to spend time by yourself, it is easy to fall prey to accepting whatever company that crosses your path. You get bored out of your mind, you meet someone new, and it is cool because at least it is someone you may be with to kill time. Everyone is not worth your time. Learn to be okay with being by yourself. This will help you conquer number one because this is the perfect time for you to focus on yourself.
Having someone around all the time can bring distractions that you may not want. The key here is to become comfortable with being alone. Take time to heal from that last relationship, take yourself to dinner or a weekend trip, and self-reflect to find what truly brings you the most joy in your life. Practice mindfulness. Take time to be still. Bonus tip: Meditation is a beneficial practice to help with stillness, at the very least.
Start a grateful journal.
Better yet, start two journals: one to vent and the other for absolutely nothing but to house your blessings. The vent journal is to let out the thoughts in your mind that upset or bother you. It is not healthy to keep those concerns bottled up inside. The other one is for everything that you are grateful for in your life. The reason this is important is that it helps with your mindset shift.
Being grateful is the most powerful emotion that you can have. Doing this brings life to your mind and body, as well as helping you manifest more to be thankful for in the present and future. It keeps your thoughts lively, keeps you happy, and focused on the right things. By being grateful, this leaves you feeling fresh and ready to conquer your life and move toward healthier relationships. Thoughts of the past will start to diminish, and there is less complaining. You may find that you will through away your vent journal.
Yes, you must learn to let go. I will say it another way. Stop caring so much. Say idgaf. This goes especially, for the things that you cannot control. I will tell you when I did this while I was still married, that monkey flew off my back! It was the best move I have made, making the rest of my marriage bearable. Okay, I am not advising you to stay in an unhealthy relationship because you stopped caring.
Letting go helps you to move forward instead of staying stuck. Your thoughts of the past will keep you fearing to move forward because of what your ex did to you. What about getting upset because you find that you cannot control a situation? Or you may worry about things that will never happen. You must come to a place in your mind where you can expect nothing but the best to happen. If things do not go your way, then oh well, you can be okay with that too. Letting go helps you be open and set your ego aside. Let go and let God be in control. Let go and let flow.
Listen to your intuition.
Men, this applies to you too. A lot has gone awry in the past and you wonder what you need to do for something to go in the right direction? Guys, when you get better at improving your emotional intelligence, then your intuition will float more to surface. Ladies, you know what I mean here. The key to this one is to avoid putting superficial things and your dire needs ahead of your logic.
For instance, you are bored or lonely, and a girl or guy comes along with red flags, but because you are in “need” of companionship, you ignore the red flags. Pay attention, and to do that, you must be aware. Listen to your gut when you know and “feel” that something is wrong. By taking the steps above this one, you will become more in tune with yourself. It will be easy to notice and take heed when your intuition is speaking. Bonus tip: Know what you want, to help you stay away from what you do not wish to happen. You have more control than you may think.
Do you feel that the above suggestions will help you become mentally and emotionally ready to meet your life’s desire? I hope you found at least one tip helpful. Once you start practicing the above, you will naturally be open to see, hear, and feel the improvement. At the same time, this helps you to take control of your present and future. A better you are always a work in progress. Take good care of yourself. You are the best and most important relationship that you will ever have in your life.
Take as much time as you need to be by yourself. Enjoy yourself and your own time moving forward. It is recommended and imperative to complete your healing before you enter your next relationship. Self-work and self-love will guarantee that you will have the strength to avoid the unhealthy behaviors within yourself and with others while setting you up for blissful relationships in the future.
We are here to support you on your journey to your best relationships. We would love to hear from you, let us know what you think in the comments. Do you have any questions? Feel free to contact us by clicking here to have a complimentary one-on-one, 30-minute session with Tiffany. We encourage you to Reach Out, Speak Up, & Create Change. Why? Because…You Matter.
Hello single gentlemen, I am Tiffany J. Norwood, CNLP, CEQP. I encourage the phrase "healthy relationships" to become a part of your heart and mind. I am the founder and CEO of Your Emotions Matter, a certified Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence practitioner, a certified NLP practitioner, a transformational speaker, and an author. (NLP is the study and understanding of how human beings communicate and perceive communication from others). I am the mother of three beautiful young women, and my passion is helping you create power through understanding your emotions. I am from southern California, and in my spare time, I enjoy the shooting range, travel, and any adventurous activity.
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