Single men, are you open to moving forward into a new relationship? Allow me to clarify; are you emotionally ready to invite someone into your life? Do you want your new experience to be better than the last? First, I invite you to read my previous article, “6 Ways to Let Go of the Past.” Then proceed to this article to check to see if you “feel” the following four ways before giving yourself space for your new best friend. (Yes, I said best friend on purpose.) I will try not to use the word “relationship” loosely because a relationship can be a hot mess. If you are reading this, it is my mission that you prepare for your new friend/love, and my prayer is that your experience is as successful as possible. Here are four ways to know you are ready to move on.
You are no longer upset
You are ready to move on when a thought or sight of her does not upset you or bring your mood down. Remember in the previous article; your past will always haunt you because those memories are attached to your unconscious mind. When those thoughts creep back up or are somehow triggered, you gracefully allow that experience to pass with no reaction or judgment. You carry on as if you saw an ugly car (an irritating thought) pass by, and now it is gone. Your mood is or remains optimistic and grateful because that is how you attract positivity and more to be thankful for in your life. Harboring anger and resentment will serve no purpose for you other than to start eating away at your physical health and leaving you vulnerable to the next hot mess.
You are trusting
You are ready to move on when you can trust again; your ex has no impact on your present and future choices. What a powerful space to be in! You must be able to give someone new the benefit of the doubt. If not, you could lose out on someone good before giving it a chance. And if you do have a chance, thinking she is anything like your ex, you are projecting your baggage onto her, which will cause problems. Spend time alone to come to a space of peace of mind.
When you can make present and future choices from a place of trust – you bring health to yourself and into your new experience. Now let us say your new lady does betray you. No worries because you “feel” so safe, trusting, and secure within yourself that you can easily let her go, knowing, “I am being prepared for someone better.”
Revenge no longer enters your mind
You are ready to move on when there is no feeling for revenge. You feel your ex is deserving of pain because of what she did to you. Remember from the last article; it takes two to screw up a relationship; therefore, you are accountable for your role. All the blame should not be on her. Even if you feel it is, no worries either way. The destructive part of your ego had no room then, now, nor in your future. She is set free, and what happens to her, how she is living her life, and whether she understands her mistakes – is her responsibility. You are responsible for yourself, and because you have taken the time to yourself to make sure that you do not repeat any mistakes, you set yourself up to succeed. Wish her well, and you will be blessed.
You have compassion
You are ready to move on when you can have compassion for her. It is said that the best thing a man can do is love his child’s mother. Whether there were children involved or not, you did once love her. Carrying on that love is not a bad thing – and anyone can be loved from a distance. What you feel in your heart is no longer tainted by past discretions. You will have pity and concern for her and can also go as far as to pray for her wellbeing, especially if kids are involved. She is their example, and should you treat her unkind, it will be “felt” by the kids, and trust me – that will come back to bite you both, unfortunately. The ultimate goal here is for you to let go of your pain. Emotional Intelligence starts with you.
Your Emotions Matter offers relationship advice, along with emotional support through Emotional Intelligence. When you communicate effectively with yourself, your life begins to change. Doing this is not easy, and yes, it takes self-work. Online counseling makes it convenient for you to seek the relationship help you need in an anonymous setting. We are here to support and empower you on your journey to your best relationships, especially the one with yourself. We would love to hear from you. May you let us know what you think in the comments? Would you like to discuss with us if Your Emotions Matter is a good fit for you? Click here for a complimentary one-on-one 30-minute meeting with Tiffany. We encourage you to reach out, speak up, and create change. Why? Because…You Matter.